








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,778 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1669 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2458 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1770 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,446 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who dis | 55% | 225 |
| #2 | toffee | 53% | 206 |
| #3 | FNURK | 53% | 251 |
| #4 | exotic snacks | 53% | 258 |
| #5 | Huke | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who dis | 55% | 225 |
| #2 | toffee | 53% | 206 |
| #3 | FNURK | 53% | 251 |
| #4 | exotic snacks | 53% | 258 |
| #5 | Huke | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toffee | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | FNURK | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | exotic snacks | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | who dis | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toffee | 741 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | exotic snacks | 553 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | FNURK | 493 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | who dis | 395 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Huke | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shake | +1.39 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | toffee | +1.00 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | exotic snacks | +0.87 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | Huke | +0.72 | 44 | 66 |
| #5 | FNURK | -0.14 | 57 | 61 |





