








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,648 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3464 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2238 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2026 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,918 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shake | 55% | 225 |
| #2 | exotic snacks | 53% | 308 |
| #3 | FNURK | 53% | 299 |
| #4 | toffee | 52% | 246 |
| #5 | alphasnejken | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | exotic snacks | 53% | 308 |
| #3 | FNURK | 53% | 299 |
| #4 | toffee | 52% | 246 |
| #5 | alphasnejken | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Huke | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toffee | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | FNURK | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | exotic snacks | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | shake | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toffee | 898 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | exotic snacks | 747 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | FNURK | 604 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | shake | 429 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Huke | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shake | +1.63 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | toffee | +1.44 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | exotic snacks | +1.09 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | FNURK | +0.25 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | Huke | -0.68 | 46 | 66 |





