








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 24% |
| Smokes | 416 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 469 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,424 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamsefozi | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ZuBa | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Moto | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Villewk | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | kusipussi | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketzigba | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | kusipussi | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketzigba | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | AlluP | 46 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | kusipussi | 41 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | FHATari | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TUOMAS | 33 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moto | +3.57 | 77 | 78 |
| #2 | hamsefozi | +2.62 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | ketzigba | +2.53 | 75 | 80 |
| #4 | Mellu Nolan | +2.21 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | TUOMAS | +1.84 | 73 | 71 |





