








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2620 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2286 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,795 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TUOMAS | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | yk3 | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | AlluP | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | Noname | 63% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | AlluP | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | Noname | 63% | 68 |
| #6 | ketzigba | 57% | 109 |
| #7 | aleksi4SHO | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketzigba | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Noname | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketzigba | 244 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Noname | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | AlluP | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mellu Nolan | 93 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | aleksi4SHO | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellu Nolan | +2.99 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | TUOMAS | +2.60 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | ketzigba | +1.95 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | aleksi4SHO | +0.70 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Noname | -0.45 | 48 | 68 |





