








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1602 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,453 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | lil postman | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | aha... | 59% | 95 |
| #9 | termiiqk | 59% | 95 |
| #10 | Ludvig | 58% | 103 |
| #11 | Repli | 55% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aha... | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ludvig | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | termiiqk | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Repli | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | conductor | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aha... | 585 | 0.30 | 22 min |
| #2 | termiiqk | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ludvig | 165 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Repli | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | BobDAruler | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conductor | +4.86 | 87 | 79 |
| #2 | aha... | +3.95 | 88 | 90 |
| #3 | BobDAruler | +2.00 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | lil postman | +0.57 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | LYNZERK[9] | +0.55 | 70 | 72 |





