








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,674 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4328 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4437 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4304 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4324 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,429,151 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hermulez | 55% | 163 |
| #2 | anZiR | 54% | 94 |
| #3 | SiikR | 53% | 174 |
| #4 | zade☁ | 53% | 236 |
| #5 | Ahti | 51% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ahti | 51% | 209 |
| #6 | Bennet | 51% | 318 |
| #7 | retr0 | 50% | 50 |
| #8 | juan roberto carlos raul esteban | 47% | 97 |
| #9 | TurbiiniSpurg | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bennet | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Hermulez | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | zade☁ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Ahti | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | juan roberto carlos raul esteban | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bennet | 1365 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | SiikR | 1045 | 0.27 | 33 min |
| #3 | zade☁ | 979 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #4 | Ahti | 772 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #5 | Hermulez | 295 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zade☁ | +3.76 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | SiikR | +1.52 | 75 | 81 |
| #3 | Ahti | +0.76 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | TurbiiniSpurg | +0.56 | 87 | 72 |
| #5 | Hermulez | -0.13 | 78 | 68 |





