








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 798 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6372 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5640 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3432 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3732 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,876 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutang | 55% | 253 |
| #2 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | H1ssiDoz | 52% | 311 |
| #4 | Pallekat | 52% | 334 |
| #5 | SuperSalt | 51% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | H1ssiDoz | 52% | 311 |
| #4 | Pallekat | 52% | 334 |
| #5 | SuperSalt | 51% | 184 |
| #6 | J-dog | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | ✪ Kung Fugh | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ssiDoz | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Pallekat | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | SuperSalt | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Mutang | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutang | 772 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | Pallekat | 429 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | H1ssiDoz | 349 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 304 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | SuperSalt | 282 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | +2.80 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Ligegl'Atli | +1.73 | 46 | 88 |
| #3 | SuperSalt | +1.58 | 36 | 72 |
| #4 | Mutang | +1.36 | 71 | 82 |
| #5 | J-dog | +0.27 | 41 | 65 |





