








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1695 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3322 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2731 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2002 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,092 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutang | 54% | 134 |
| #2 | Pallekat | 53% | 207 |
| #3 | H1ssiDoz | 51% | 193 |
| #4 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 51% | 127 |
| #5 | Ligegl'Atli | 51% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutang | 54% | 134 |
| #2 | Pallekat | 53% | 207 |
| #3 | H1ssiDoz | 51% | 193 |
| #4 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 51% | 127 |
| #5 | Ligegl'Atli | 51% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallekat | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | H1ssiDoz | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ligegl'Atli | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Mutang | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ligegl'Atli | 955 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | Mutang | 434 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | 265 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pallekat | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | H1ssiDoz | 236 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ålen 4gÛrkz3n | +2.64 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | Ligegl'Atli | +1.59 | 50 | 88 |
| #3 | SuperSalt | +1.42 | 37 | 72 |
| #4 | Mutang | +1.03 | 70 | 83 |
| #5 | H1ssiDoz | -1.62 | 47 | 61 |





