








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2996 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2984 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1969 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,786 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snäikler | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | RogueZz | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | s | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | dest | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | WWizzard | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | fyq | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | Danyio | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | Johann Lafer | 42% | 69 |
| #11 | Yung Jkaem 'G2A.com | 30% | 20 |
| #12 | bekk0 | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | WWizzard | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | fyq | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Leif | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | bekk0 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fyq | 236 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | fakeme | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | WWizzard | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johann Lafer | 102 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | s | 101 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | +2.10 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | kck- | +1.36 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | Leif | +1.03 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | RogueZz | +0.71 | 89 | 58 |
| #5 | fyq | -0.05 | 77 | 72 |





