








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1282 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2527 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1716 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2378 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,768 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | fakeme | 50% | 44 |
| #15 | fyq | 46% | 50 |
| #16 | kck- | 42% | 69 |
| #17 | ChieFSieF | 37% | 30 |
| #18 | Yung Jkaem 'G2A.com | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WWizzard | 646 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | fyq | 254 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | kck- | 229 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | SpiN | 181 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | ChieFSieF | 176 | 0.26 | 6 min |





