








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1823 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1570 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 982 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,294 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavidsoNp | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Yung Jkaem 'G2A.com | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | seek | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Grizi | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | GENjiii~ | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Johann Lafer | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | kck- | 43% | 51 |
| #12 | xix | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | Danyio | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | thndr | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Grizi | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | GENjiii~ | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Johann Lafer | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | kck- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | kck- | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yung Jkaem 'G2A.com | 113 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johann Lafer | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | WWizzard | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | +2.78 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | xix | +1.65 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | xavidsoNp | +1.50 | 34 | 80 |
| #4 | fyq | +0.58 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Grizi | +0.42 | 77 | 52 |





