








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8 | 2% |
| Smokes | 68 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,600 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOLDIER | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | lumiaire | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Sharpy | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | noodle | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | OTIS | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumiaire | +5.30 | 92 | 52 |
| #2 | SOLDIER | +3.80 | 51 | 49 |
| #3 | terrorist | +1.34 | 71 | 29 |
| #4 | noodle | -0.05 | 45 | 40 |
| #5 | OTIS | -0.06 | 54 | 54 |





