








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 784 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6970 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8288 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12696 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 10076 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,012,664 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deivil | 54% | 206 |
| #2 | NICKNACK | 52% | 585 |
| #3 | pxxxeee | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 50% | 398 |
| #5 | azl^_ | 48% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pxxxeee | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 50% | 398 |
| #5 | azl^_ | 48% | 290 |
| #6 | Escobar | 47% | 98 |
| #7 | Madman | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NICKNACK | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Deivil | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | azl^_ | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Escobar | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azl^_ | 1918 | 0.31 | 55 min |
| #2 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 1557 | 0.19 | 44 min |
| #3 | NICKNACK | 834 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #4 | pxxxeee | 657 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #5 | Deivil | 512 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxxxeee | +1.57 | 75 | 78 |
| #2 | Facebraker | +1.24 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Deivil | +0.88 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | Escobar | +0.72 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | Madman | -0.01 | 81 | 62 |





