








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 917 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9442 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7228 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5012 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4752 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,353 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deivil | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | pxxxeee | 49% | 195 |
| #3 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 48% | 257 |
| #4 | Facebraker | 48% | 290 |
| #5 | NICKNACK | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deivil | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | pxxxeee | 49% | 195 |
| #3 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 48% | 257 |
| #4 | Facebraker | 48% | 290 |
| #5 | NICKNACK | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Facebraker | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | pxxxeee | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Deivil | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | NICKNACK | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | 990 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #2 | pxxxeee | 774 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #3 | Facebraker | 463 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | NICKNACK | 256 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Deivil | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxxxeee | +1.69 | 75 | 78 |
| #2 | Facebraker | +1.41 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Deivil | +1.21 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | ★LUFTSCHNEEENGEL | -0.50 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | NICKNACK | -0.71 | 84 | 62 |





