








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6466 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5840 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4762 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4211 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,251 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1060 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bodywash | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Avaladeen | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | rancho | 63% | 134 |
| #4 | Le . G | 60% | 154 |
| #5 | N. | 57% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Pantoufle | 55% | 96 |
| #11 | La Glotte à Charlotte | 55% | 53 |
| #12 | MARLEY420_ | 52% | 25 |
| #13 | [dA]Skunk. | 46% | 50 |
| #14 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N. | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | bmaby | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | rancho | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Arkoz | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Le . G | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmaby | 618 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | rancho | 598 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #3 | N. | 390 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rinhoc | 308 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Pantoufle | 270 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tudo | +4.12 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | +1.80 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | rancho | +1.19 | 65 | 74 |
| #4 | MARLEY420_ | +0.99 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | bmaby | +0.65 | 77 | 63 |





