








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1410 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1662 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1268 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1265 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,091 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munanvatkaaja | Ei huono! | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | makke | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | DrunkenElf | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Flovi | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | AukustiCat | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrunkenElf | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Oogie Boogie | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | AukustiCat | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jone | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ANgryCroCK | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AukustiCat | 187 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jone | 184 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Oogie Boogie | 175 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ANgryCroCK | 163 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Flovi | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munanvatkaaja | Ei huono! | +5.08 | 47 | 75 |
| #2 | DJ FITME | +3.65 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | makke | +3.18 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Flovi | +1.76 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | Mataka | +1.21 | 61 | 67 |





