








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Wingman | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 193 | 1% |
| Smokes | 3839 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4793 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4770 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,043,955 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoulderGrabber | 56% | 91 |
| #2 | paceman | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | brumbas | 48% | 198 |
| #4 | CM-R8kt_1shot | 48% | 261 |
| #5 | snaXteRs ツ | 47% | 429 |





