








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Wingman | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2521 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,760,958 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | jan374 | 38% | 61 |
| #10 | SamTheWolf | 36% | 96 |
| #11 | BoulderGrabber | 34% | 32 |
| #12 | ⚡ RushC | 30% | 46 |
| #13 | Tjalfii CZ "Slava Ukraini" | 21% | 28 |





