








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4094 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1877 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2128 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,209 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xzen | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | LTC | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Bamf | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | StruggleHugs | 50% | 209 |
| #5 | LILPOOKIE TTV | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LILPOOKIE TTV | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | StruggleHugs | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Xzen | 5 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Bamf | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Snootchies | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StruggleHugs | 642 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bamf | 240 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Snootchies | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | LTC | 90 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Adonbilivitman | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xzen | +4.45 | 94 | 47 |
| #2 | Neefs | +4.20 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | LTC | +2.92 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | ohpeta | +1.28 | 72 | 24 |
| #5 | LILPOOKIE TTV | -0.91 | 56 | 38 |





