








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 516 | 22% |
| Smokes | 460 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 776 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,362 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K-Pop Stan | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Jaazatra | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Toaster | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | milk | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | StruggleHugs | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | izzy♡ | 44% | 39 |
| #10 | Neefs | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Lazermonkey | 40% | 48 |
| #12 | Adonbilivitman | 39% | 41 |
| #13 | Blue L-Star Nova-Sword | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toaster | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | LILPOOKIE TTV | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Snootchies | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Adonbilivitman | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | K-Pop Stan | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StruggleHugs | 372 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Snootchies | 193 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Toaster | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | K-Pop Stan | 74 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lazermonkey | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynn From Maplestory | +4.36 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | K-Pop Stan | +3.60 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Neefs | +3.55 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | ohpeta | +2.71 | 75 | 34 |
| #5 | milk | +0.71 | 54 | 49 |





