








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 523 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2085 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4136 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4135 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3695 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $604,445 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joint | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | Hr.Kristensen | 44% | 72 |
| #3 | Gamle | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | Rolator Far | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joint | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | Hr.Kristensen | 44% | 72 |
| #3 | Gamle | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | Rolator Far | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joint | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Hr.Kristensen | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Gamle | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Rolator Far | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr.Kristensen | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Joint | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gamle | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rolator Far | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr.Kristensen | +0.46 | 19 | 53 |
| #2 | Bager1981 | +0.25 | 45 | 47 |
| #3 | Gamle | -0.30 | 39 | 44 |
| #4 | Joint | -0.88 | 20 | 50 |
| #5 | Rolator Far | -1.73 | 29 | 54 |





