








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8984 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7636 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3889 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5613 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,461 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | selz | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | Robin | 51% | 114 |
| #3 | burnz0 | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ shockwave | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ClitCommander | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | pyro | 45% | 121 |
| #8 | O w N i x´X | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | wikket ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | spt_the_lucker | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pyro | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Robin | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ✪ shockwave | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | selz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pyro | 420 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Robin | 336 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | 166 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ClitCommander | 144 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ shockwave | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burnz0 | +3.91 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | Robin | +1.26 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | pyro | +1.12 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | selz | +0.61 | 70 | 40 |
| #5 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | +0.51 | 61 | 58 |





