








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 994 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3445 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1702 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3932 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1473 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,113,892 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiL | 59% | 98 |
| #2 | Dunbar | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | The Floosh | 58% | 65 |
| #4 | 1ekim | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | sHaKe | 55% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 1ekim | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | sHaKe | 55% | 124 |
| #6 | dm | 54% | 95 |
| #7 | zoi | miraGe | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | BahN | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sHaKe | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | dm | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | BahN | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | The Floosh | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | 1ekim | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Floosh | 597 | 0.43 | 18 min |
| #2 | dm | 537 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | 1ekim | 537 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #4 | sHaKe | 505 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #5 | wiL | 323 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bee | +2.26 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | dm | +1.38 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | 1ekim | +0.82 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | The Floosh | -0.14 | 60 | 83 |
| #5 | BahN | -0.15 | 57 | 71 |





