








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5780 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4578 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3027 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3456 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,033 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | SamXon | 53% | 19 |
| #13 | Udzinski | 52% | 54 |
| #14 | dm | 51% | 97 |
| #15 | broodb4th | 49% | 51 |
| #16 | hustler | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bee | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | sHaKe | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | zoi | miraGe | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | The Floosh | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | BahN | 6 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Floosh | 586 | 0.34 | 18 min |
| #2 | dm | 575 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | bee | 521 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #4 | sHaKe | 488 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | zoi | miraGe | 381 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydra | +2.34 | 56 | 74 |
| #2 | bee | +2.01 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | hustler | +1.79 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | 1ekim | +1.48 | 73 | 77 |
| #5 | dm | +1.15 | 72 | 65 |





