








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1662 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2829 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2005 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,766 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jvizzle | 45% | 155 |
| #2 | Rocksteady | 44% | 139 |
| #3 | comrade weeeb | 42% | 114 |
| #4 | AB | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | Fugazi AB | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalbmeister aka holdkaptajnen | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jvizzle | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Rocksteady | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | comrade weeeb | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | AB | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jvizzle | 570 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Rocksteady | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | comrade weeeb | 129 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | AB | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fugazi AB | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |





