








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 841 | 23% |
| Smokes | 985 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,495 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fugazi AB | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Jvizzle | 42% | 96 |
| #3 | Rocksteady | 40% | 94 |
| #4 | Mr. Vuny | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | comrade weeeb | 39% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Vuny | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Jvizzle | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Rocksteady | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | comrade weeeb | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Dalbmeister aka holdkaptajnen | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jvizzle | 327 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Rocksteady | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr. Vuny | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | comrade weeeb | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fugazi AB | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jvizzle | +3.80 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | comrade weeeb | +0.83 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | Rocksteady | +0.09 | 55 | 63 |
| #4 | Fugazi AB | -1.59 | 43 | 53 |
| #5 | Droklz | -2.34 | 19 | 61 |





