








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1352 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1355 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1284 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,767 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Bye for now | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | qwerty.nick | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | Enigma | 49% | 118 |
| #5 | KC | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Enigma | 49% | 118 |
| #5 | KC | 49% | 82 |
| #6 | AF SharkBearz | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | SANDWICH ♿ | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Danny | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enigma | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | KC | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | qwerty.nick | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | AF SharkBearz | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | BoB | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwerty.nick | 282 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Bye for now | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Enigma | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | BoB | 70 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | KC | 53 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | +1.98 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | qwerty.nick | +1.20 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | BoB | +0.92 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | Bye for now | +0.67 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | Enigma | +0.32 | 62 | 53 |





