








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4271 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4784 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5061 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3936 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,450 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 999 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notfatdy | 59% | 98 |
| #2 | Maikel | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Kai | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | cuBEHHH | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | BLz | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KC | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | CaptainCupcake | 45% | 128 |
| #13 | qwerty.nick | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Bye for now | 41% | 27 |
| #15 | BoB | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy :D | 21 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Enigma | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Milky | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Captain Obvious | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CaptainCupcake | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milky | 640 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Andy :D | 446 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Notfatdy | 276 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Captain Obvious | 224 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | CaptainCupcake | 161 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy :D | +3.76 | 70 | 78 |
| #2 | Notfatdy | +3.60 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Waifu with a Raifu | +2.02 | 66 | 77 |
| #4 | qwerty.nick | +0.76 | 73 | 79 |
| #5 | Enigma | +0.07 | 65 | 50 |





