








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 646 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1473 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,220,254 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jqlifice | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | cuBEHHH | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | BoB | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | Enigma | 54% | 235 |
| #5 | Bye for now | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bye for now | 54% | 113 |
| #6 | qwerty.nick | 53% | 133 |
| #7 | fo` | 49% | 82 |
| #8 | SANDWICH ♿ | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | AF SharkBearz | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bye for now | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | qwerty.nick | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Enigma | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | AF SharkBearz | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | BoB | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwerty.nick | 484 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bye for now | 348 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | BoB | 248 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | fo` | 215 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Enigma | 145 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB | +1.71 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | qwerty.nick | +1.38 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | AF SharkBearz | +1.09 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | Enigma | +0.26 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | KC | -0.15 | 75 | 50 |





