








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 365 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8612 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6202 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6520 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5235 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,185 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aar㊉n | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | :Depresne:™ (Valorant Player) | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | an0^_- | 55% | 84 |
| #4 | XEp | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | steVwanderer | 54% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | steVwanderer | 54% | 85 |
| #6 | themostdope | 53% | 493 |
| #7 | optimus | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Ice | 49% | 97 |
| #9 | DeLiCe | 48% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | themostdope | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | DeLiCe | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | optimus | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | an0^_- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | themostdope | 1618 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #2 | DeLiCe | 982 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #3 | an0^_- | 577 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #4 | steVwanderer | 299 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ice | 278 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XEp | +1.78 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | :Depresne:™ (Valorant Player) | +1.57 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | Aar㊉n | +1.41 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | hOudini*-) , daix | +1.40 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | Ice | +0.08 | 77 | 74 |





