








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 23% |
| Smokes | 885 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2074 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1158 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,757 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Jase | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | arf | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | fraz | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ShiG[J] | 51% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kees | 49% | 236 |
| #8 | M i n c h e r z | 46% | 61 |
| #9 | hehe el guapo | 41% | 94 |
| #10 | de_wally | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | kevf | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Boostey | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | arf | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | fraz | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 592 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jase | 326 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #3 | ShiG[J] | 256 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | arf | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Boostey | 201 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | +5.75 | 89 | 84 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | +1.47 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | arf | +0.84 | 66 | 75 |
| #4 | Soul | +0.60 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Boostey | +0.46 | 80 | 52 |





