








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1438 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,777 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sitam | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Soulm8 | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Madderose | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | ? dab eb i yhw | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | KT1 | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SKlope | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | Oui | 59% | 102 |
| #8 | Avo` | 58% | 12 |
| #9 | Brax. | 56% | 48 |
| #10 | _| FalkN. | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oui | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Madderose | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Brax. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ? dab eb i yhw | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | SKlope | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madderose | 301 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Oui | 270 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Brax. | 205 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | ? dab eb i yhw | 102 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Soulm8 | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3dVirus | +2.93 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Oui | +2.59 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | Madderose | +0.28 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | SKlope | +0.04 | 50 | 42 |
| #5 | Soulm8 | -0.01 | 74 | 69 |





