








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9537 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8462 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5346 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5836 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,145 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hokage p | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | xpERIENCE | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | StrangeloV | 57% | 84 |
| #4 | nys | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | DonPookie | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hokage p | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | xpERIENCE | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | StrangeloV | 57% | 84 |
| #4 | nys | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | DonPookie | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonPookie | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | xpERIENCE | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | StrangeloV | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | hokage p | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | nys | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonPookie | 455 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | StrangeloV | 324 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | hokage p | 315 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | xpERIENCE | 136 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | nys | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpERIENCE | +2.33 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | dragon | +2.18 | 91 | 74 |
| #3 | StrangeloV | +1.51 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | nys | +1.15 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | DonPookie | +0.78 | 73 | 65 |





