








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2245 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1600 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 618 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,716 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaiZzen | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ptrck | 62% | 160 |
| #3 | $onic | 61% | 111 |
| #4 | right | 60% | 149 |
| #5 | DONNIE DARKO | 59% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ptrck | 62% | 160 |
| #3 | $onic | 61% | 111 |
| #4 | right | 60% | 149 |
| #5 | DONNIE DARKO | 59% | 160 |
| #6 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DONNIE DARKO | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ptrck | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | right | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | $onic | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | right | 794 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | $onic | 495 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | ptrck | 463 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | DONNIE DARKO | 237 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayson12381 | +1.83 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | DONNIE DARKO | +1.43 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | ptrck | +0.06 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | right | -0.05 | 71 | 80 |
| #5 | $onic | -0.72 | 82 | 65 |





