








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8210 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8829 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5942 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,104,718 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cocainechr1s ツ | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | jiNX | 53% | 91 |
| #7 | MiNDFiELDS | 52% | 157 |
| #8 | jizz | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Noodlez | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocainechr1s ツ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | MiNDFiELDS | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | jizz | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | jiNX | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 514 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | MiNDFiELDS | 435 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | jiNX | 354 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | cocainechr1s ツ | 241 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Noodlez | 210 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiNDFiELDS | +2.68 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | jiNX | +2.02 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | +1.34 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | jizz | +1.22 | 68 | 80 |
| #5 | cocainechr1s ツ | +0.82 | 84 | 75 |





