








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3543 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4486 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2149 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3763 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,667,802 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Canada | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | Flash | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | SotoSizzle | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | Miles | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | YoungWolf | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | couch | 40% | 42 |
| #13 | R.Spec | 40% | 72 |
| #14 | Foogy | 38% | 32 |
| #15 | Freeze Cat | 37% | 46 |
| #16 | Zizzitz | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambit | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | SotoSizzle | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Freeze Cat | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Lil Pecker | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | UncleNaphy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambit | 1085 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | Lil Pecker | 563 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Flash | 464 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #4 | UncleNaphy | 321 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | R.Spec | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Canada | +3.15 | 42 | 79 |
| #2 | Flash | +2.16 | 60 | 79 |
| #3 | R.Spec | +2.12 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | Miles | +0.91 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | Gambit | +0.15 | 50 | 66 |





