








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 932 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3134 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3321 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2049 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,185 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PancakeShake | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Flash | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | R.Spec | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Argus | 55% | 47 |
| #5 | Lil Pecker | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambit | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Dr. Decoy | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Lil Pecker | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | D3VO | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Argus | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambit | 520 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Lil Pecker | 401 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | UncleNaphy | 325 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dr. Decoy | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Flash | 203 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PancakeShake | +4.18 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | R.Spec | +2.70 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Flash | +2.40 | 67 | 80 |
| #4 | Foogy | +2.00 | 59 | 33 |
| #5 | Gambit | +0.59 | 49 | 66 |





