








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3974 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3206 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2449 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2711 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,097,137 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Claudé VacBan | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | doNmartinez | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | jaegermeister | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | ayz | 59% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doNmartinez | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Splash | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ayz | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ☾⋆ALPHATIER⋆☽ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | thOre | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doNmartinez | 872 | 0.33 | 26 min |
| #2 | ayz | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | AmmoK | 190 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☾⋆ALPHATIER⋆☽ | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Splash | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roach* | +3.36 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | jaegermeister | +1.16 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | doNmartinez | +0.65 | 65 | 85 |
| #4 | troubleN IYC$CUF | +0.54 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | ayz | +0.24 | 65 | 75 |





