








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 646 | 20% |
| Smokes | 993 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,948 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteenKors | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ropotin | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | Kalamestari | 51% | 119 |
| #4 | PoRiMoRi | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Düfus Paelli | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalamestari | 461 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Düfus Paelli | 280 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kyösti Kustaa | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | ropotin | 219 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | PoRiMoRi | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketamine Enthusiast | +3.54 | 38 | 43 |
| #2 | SteenKors | +2.40 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Kyösti Kustaa | +1.57 | 32 | 61 |
| #4 | Kalamestari | +1.20 | 21 | 67 |
| #5 | ropotin | +0.83 | 53 | 57 |





