








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3051 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3213 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2775 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1989 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,348 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FetalSmite | 51% | 74 |
| #2 | SaltyPoo | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | Gold Bin | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | Strategos666 | 49% | 268 |
| #5 | SemiDaniel | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strategos666 | 1162 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #2 | Christos | 482 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | FetalSmite | 447 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #4 | Duckbert. | 431 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | SaltyPoo | 235 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzio | +2.92 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | SaltyPoo | +1.73 | 53 | 61 |
| #3 | Murder Mittens. | +1.05 | 50 | 78 |
| #4 | Gold Bin | +1.04 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Christos | +0.92 | 65 | 55 |





