








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3293 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4165 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3469 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2887 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,788 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewan101 | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Fizzio | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | ogg | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Becky with a K | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | SaltyPoo | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParaDrop | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Christos | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | FetalSmite | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Gold Bin | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Strategos666 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FetalSmite | 844 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | Strategos666 | 696 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | ParaDrop | 408 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Christos | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | SaltyPoo | 148 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzio | +3.26 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | Duckbert. | +1.66 | 46 | 78 |
| #3 | SaltyPoo | +1.52 | 47 | 63 |
| #4 | Gold Bin | +0.96 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | Christos | +0.94 | 69 | 53 |





