








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 5% |
| Smokes | 738 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 935 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,432 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FetalSmite | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ParaDrop | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Christos | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | Strategos666 | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | Duckbert. | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ParaDrop | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Christos | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | Strategos666 | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | Duckbert. | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | Murder Mittens. | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParaDrop | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Christos | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Duckbert. | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | FetalSmite | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strategos666 | 316 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | ParaDrop | 224 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Christos | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Duckbert. | 161 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | FetalSmite | 84 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gold Bin | +1.15 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | Murder Mittens. | +0.83 | 56 | 81 |
| #3 | Duckbert. | +0.74 | 45 | 77 |
| #4 | Christos | -0.11 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | ParaDrop | -0.12 | 45 | 63 |





