








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1282 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1557 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,869 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psy | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Liberty | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | MjΓ³ln1r | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Galileo | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | Jerneskog | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ
·π
΄ π
Ίπ
Έπ
½π
Ά BOB3000 | 255 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | perKi | 246 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | REHN | 122 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | datsleoH | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Galileo | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MjΓ³ln1r | +3.44 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Liberty | +3.14 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Bergman | +2.66 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | jollz | +1.58 | 67 | 85 |
| #5 | pnouts | +0.87 | 76 | 74 |





