








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,974 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 630 | 38% |
| Smokes | 473 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 256 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 317 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,734 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | perKi | 55% | 11 |
| #14 | Bergman | 53% | 17 |
| #15 | uwasright | 50% | 14 |
| #16 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | NPC Mallan💅🏻 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mingan | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | uwasright | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Krezy | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | kangez | 1 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArkenGAHD | +5.84 | 85 | 41 |
| #2 | Lorm3N | +5.44 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | Shibi | +4.91 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | Krezy | +4.09 | 75 | 88 |
| #5 | Bergman | +3.07 | 78 | 52 |





