








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 572 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5476 | 20% |
| Smokes | 10145 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 8794 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3452 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,250 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [G.I.]Flint | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | Teflon | 52% | 131 |
| #3 | Archarin | 50% | 76 |
| #4 | Waffle House | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | Giraffrey | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PurrrpleCrayola | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | Wackod006 | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | Ot3r | 42% | 77 |
| #10 | Castco Hat Dag | 38% | 39 |
| #11 | systematic | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifeSpan | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Waffle House | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Teflon | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Ot3r | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | [G.I.]Flint | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifeSpan | 281 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ot3r | 239 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Giraffrey | 171 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Wackod006 | 126 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | PurrrpleCrayola | 110 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ot3r | +2.88 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Giraffrey | +1.99 | 52 | 66 |
| #3 | Wackod006 | +1.73 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | Teflon | +0.35 | 41 | 40 |
| #5 | sidark- I play inverted | +0.14 | 34 | 59 |





