








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 717 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4514 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4186 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2340 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,922,864 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [G.I.]Flint | 55% | 74 |
| #2 | Giraffrey | 53% | 87 |
| #3 | sidark- I play inverted | 52% | 131 |
| #4 | Waffle House | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | LifeSpan | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sidark- I play inverted | 52% | 131 |
| #4 | Waffle House | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | LifeSpan | 49% | 87 |
| #6 | Jizz'm Lip | 49% | 51 |
| #7 | Archarin | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sidark- I play inverted | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LifeSpan | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | [G.I.]Flint | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Waffle House | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jizz'm Lip | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sidark- I play inverted | 232 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jizz'm Lip | 113 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | LifeSpan | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Giraffrey | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Waffle House | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giraffrey | +2.03 | 50 | 66 |
| #2 | Jizz'm Lip | +1.79 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Teflon | +0.43 | 41 | 37 |
| #4 | sidark- I play inverted | -0.17 | 39 | 54 |
| #5 | [G.I.]Flint | -0.33 | 67 | 55 |





