








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 850 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,174 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -|(The)idea | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | lennimon | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | marco' | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | fera;D | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | groberUnfug | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | pat | 47% | 34 |
| #12 | Bravex2TV | 45% | 11 |
| #13 | jNk ૐ# | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | n0LiFE | 43% | 14 |
| #15 | molle.cs | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lennimon | 4 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | groberUnfug | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | marco' | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | -|(The)idea | 2 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Leany | 126 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | fera;D | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | meine is ne richtig geile! | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | groberUnfug | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leany | +3.92 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | Bravex2TV | +2.30 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | meine is ne richtig geile! | +2.03 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | fera;D | +2.01 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | lennimon | +1.78 | 75 | 81 |





