








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 542 | 30% |
| Smokes | 292 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,920 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ʟᴜᴄɪᴅʚĭɞ | 27% | 63 |
| #7 | S1mba♛ | 25% | 16 |
| #8 | drai | 23% | 43 |
| #9 | IsaTheOtaku | 22% | 32 |
| #10 | Jokur | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ʟᴜᴄɪᴅʚĭɞ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Mini Patronツ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Jokur | 2 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | drai | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | 223 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tonton | 156 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mini Patronツ | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | drai | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | IsaTheOtaku | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | +4.68 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | CrimsonPyro99 | +3.39 | 38 | 48 |
| #3 | drai | +1.38 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | Jokur | +1.20 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | Tonton | +0.79 | 50 | 70 |





