








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3374 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 991 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,748 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ksh | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Mr.Puffington | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | banger | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | G_G | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | kynikki | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | banger | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | G_G | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | kynikki | 49% | 134 |
| #6 | Jurppi | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G_G | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | kynikki | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Mr.Puffington | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | banger | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banger | 514 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 322 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | G_G | 215 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | kynikki | 183 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | ksh | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banger | +1.30 | 72 | 75 |
| #2 | Omena | +0.88 | 75 | 80 |
| #3 | G_G | +0.60 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Jurppi | +0.37 | 59 | 77 |
| #5 | Mr.Puffington | -1.04 | 48 | 60 |





