








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3443 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2404 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,842 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G_G | 52% | 115 |
| #2 | Omena | 51% | 111 |
| #3 | vuokkonen | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | cARNi | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | cARNi | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | kynikki | 47% | 166 |
| #7 | Mr.Puffington | 46% | 95 |
| #8 | mynthon | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omena | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | vuokkonen | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | kynikki | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Mr.Puffington | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 435 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Omena | 430 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | G_G | 194 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | kynikki | 186 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | cARNi | 104 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banger | +1.56 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | Omena | +0.51 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | mynthon | -0.07 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | G_G | -0.18 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | cARNi | -0.50 | 81 | 70 |





